Pathways of Life...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Here's EARS Education Seminar..409...ha ha

Something most people take for granted: HEARING

Hearing normally! Wow...unless you've 'worn these shoes' can not know the JOY of being able to hear normally. Today----after 10 months of deafness...I CAN HEAR. Praise God for answering my prayers. I had almost become RESOLVED to accepting what many others already have...being Deaf.

After battling stage 5 cancer and a new experimental type of treatment (5 surgeries)...unknown to me and my doctors....the inside of my ears died to a degree from chemical burn.

Here we go with the EAR education class 409 (cleanzer ha ha)...or maybe it was WD 40?

It seems that beside regular old EAR WAX the human ear HAS TO HAVE an oil secretion from the inside of the ear canals/channels. (not antennas now..ha ha)

My severe experimental cancer treatment for which I am grateful to God for...and his science/doctors/nurses....even tho I turned brown as well...then replaced the brown with more moles...which I didn't think that was possible. ha ha

The process also...burned up/baked/destroyed the normal process inside my ears for producing OIL for the skin inside. (this is similar to the...ha ha....feathers on a ducks back....they naturally produce OIL on their feathers...thus 'water on a ducks back simply ROLLS off".

Ears operate the same method. Water and ears do not MIX...that's straight from the highest of Medical experts. (even tho last family doctor WASHED MY EARS OUT WITH A HIGH POWERED HOT BUBBLY...FIRE HOSE...HAHA....then accidently broke my ear drum trying to get a lump of natural wax out. (gee ain't life fun...when one doctor does this and others do that.... and YOUR THA VICTIM! ha ha)

Anyway...the BioCobalt/radiation/chemo mixture in a balloon...inside my chest...stopped this DUCKS oil tank up (ha ha) and's taken this many months to get it cleared up.

Again, I gratefully praise God for this blessing. Because to those of you who have never had a hearing causes DIZZINESS, HEADACHES, WALKING LIKE A DRUNK, FALLING, FUMBLING, DISORIENTATIONS. The normal sounds ....what few you can a hollow well...seem to come from totally the OPPOSITE direction. You can not favorite hobby. It is EXTREMELY hard to even talk....because you cannot tell how low or loud you are speaking...this strains all your throat, jaws, chest muscles....weird...but true. It hurts! Depression is normal--- from just TRYING to exist. Face muscle even react, eyes squinting till your head hurts---BUT YOU DO LEARN to read LIPS! HA HA

So, after 10 Specialist--with awesome knowledge and medical he said "sucked my brains out right through my ears"...ha ha AND INSTANTLY...I could hear!

The humorous side to this most appreciated blessing----is that now I laugh in remembering the hit music record of Garth Brooks years ago...about "be careful for what you pray for".

I prayed to be healed. I was healed! ...... :-)
That every night...I took all my tons of required medicines....and my wonderful, beloved AMBIEN CR... sleeping pill~~~which KNOCKS me out totally in 30 normally.

But THAT night...I COULD HEAR EVERY SOUND....birds screaming outside my window, neighbors dogs barking. cats fighting, a jillion trucks/cars/motorcyles going 80 to nothing up and down the highway....a moth caught in the window screen, the clock TICKING like a UNITED STATES AIR FORCE DRUMMER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and my beloved husband of 49 years---SNORING, SNORING, SNORING....the rafters were not just shaking...they were MOVING to the beat! LOL

But, ya know....I honestly can say I LOVE IT. AmbienCR usually does a pretty good job...but that night...from 9 PM until after midnight....I simply enjoyed laying next to this ROARING LION...just being.... being comfortable.... feeling God's presence.... and Knowing HIS gift and love....His healing power...because~~~~I CAN HEAR again!

Dear ones who have never walked this road...I pray you never have to....and to the dear one who DO~~~~please know I am praying for you, too! For so I~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, April 23, 2007

Repeat Performance for a friend & Anyone Else who is interested...

The following blog is one that I wrote a couple of months back on my old blog that I had prior to this one. At the request of a friend, I am reprinting/copying the following...into this blog. Not sure why...but here it is. Thanks for the request...and even spending time with me. You are a treasure.

Spring Cleaning: Old papers to Crockpots & Log Cribs
Spring cleaning! A good thing...some times a very revealing thing. I enjoy STARTING....I just have a big problem STAYING ON TRACT. How about you?I find that I start on a project with great vim/vigor....suddenly come across something VERY intertesting...more interesting than the PROJECT!!! And Zap....I am off and running...totally in another direction and LOVING IT. HA HA

Last week I decided that I needed update a lot of our 'family legal matters' of our so called 'SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX'. (not the Banking type...just a big Walmart box in a shed...haha) You know the Living wills, wills, house/car/business/insurances, etc.etc.etc.---all VERY important but also the easiest to 'put off and not look at...because it's not all that pleasant ....tho necessary, especially at our age and time in life. (Every days newspaper OBITS reminds us constantly of this fact---we are rapidly losing our friends and heaven is getting more of our friends as residents)

Based on the above...I started out quite well. But deeeeep in the bottom of the box I came across two different folded up xeroxed rolls of papers----from the CIVIL WAR. Shock.Yes, I remember when and where I got the data..when I copied some of it at work, hummm.....but it was back during my years of working and during those years that my life was on OVER LOAD with work/kids/schedules and certainly no time for a 'deep love of my heart' beautiful heritage from BOTH my mothers and daddy's side of the family and their lives.

I have always GATHERED/KEPT virtually ANY THING of the past....and a STORED away everything. But this particular day....I stopped dead in my tracts and read my GREAT GRANDMOTHERS handwriting and her story about she and my GRANDMOTHER'S life during and after the Civil War. Tears and an aching heart burst easily from me as I read and VISUALIZED the unbelievable....but obvious...truthful/horrible experiences that they and all our pioneering forefathers went through in order that we all today can relax, enjoy and yes, abuse all those most TREASURED freedoms that our grandparents and my parents did not have. (these papers were copies of official government Confederate Widows pension documents.)And to think that in some ways....others had it EVEN WORSE than my grandparents.

Lord God, have mercy, forgive us for not knowing or appreciating the sacrifices of others...of our own families of the past and most of all... the REAL and additional reasons of Jesus going to that cross for those back then and for each of us today ....that we sometimes walk in ignorance.I was sharing with one my friends the above and since she is a blog reader but not writer, she asked that I write about some of things that I found, because these are things that quickly humble our hearts in our world of 'goodness and blessings today....and we all need to praise God MORE! So, whatever I share here about my heritage...may it honor all those who have gone before....especially my own beloved loved ones .....some...that I never even knew but have always been so proud of....and most of all, honor to our Lord and Savior, who brought them and brings each of us through each days challenges.

We have traced our Maternal heritage (my Mom) all the way back to 1648 AD in England/Germany and my Dad's side back to 1752 AD Prussia.. I think this is so awesome and such a neat blessing..... Yet some is not....we have 2 grandfathers who served Napoleon Bonepart, one became one of his top 12 Generals and his name is on the Arch of Triumph in France. (we have an actual letter about this Grandfather serving with Napoleon at war in Prussia (now Berlin, Germ) when Napoleon gave him the orders to Stay/Lead his legion of soldiers there....while Napoleon chose to leave... to win the 'worlds greatest victory' and actually met 'his Waterlou" death. Recorded also in WB Brittanica.Our family members that love researching our heritage... the sad, bad and success of our background....are so thrilled to have the documented facts and yes, like all families...there's good, bad & ugly....even sillies... ha ha

Nothing in life is perfect. haBut the papers that I found/have are about my Great Granny Permelia Bullard-Culp...I think is so heart rendering and documented. She and her family were originally from Tennesee, moved to Neosho, Missouri when she was a child. She and her sister Martha (older) married two brothers.

Their husbands, Caswell and Daniel Culp (along with their 2 sisters and 4 other brothers) were born in North Carolina but also moved to McDonald County Missouri, close to the Bullard family of 12 children. The Civil War was brewing. Great Granny Culp said that Caswell and Daniel (& friend RL McGee) were "mustered'' (made to serve) in the Confederate Army in Washington County, Arkansas, where they were all working, shortly after they each had married the Bullard sisters. Great Granny Permelia wrote in these papers that she and Caswell married April 16, 1857, she had 3 little girls, my grandmother Emma, Laura Jane (whom I was named after as my mothers favorite Aunt) and infant Clara C. The two families lived together in Daniels and Martha's house during the war in Neosho, Missouri.

The two brothers and best friend, R L McBee (later lived in Waco, Tx. and verified all government documentation of events for the family on these papers that I have)----were all captured and put in a Yankee prison, which was horrible because there was no food for any one during the wartime, lastly were war prisoners. Finally the men were released in March of 1863 and allowed to go home. (the Civil War began April 12, 1861 and ended April 9, 1865).On the way home...according to Granny's story to my Mother...the brothers and other men were riding horses back to Missouri and Caswell (my great Grandfather) was riding towards the end of the line of horses on the narrow trail in woodlands and hills.

The men all arrived at the home of Daniel. Granny realized quickly that her husband was NOT with the group. However his dog was...and it was constantly barking. The men all said he had been barking for a while as the men walked the trail. It was late in the evening, so the tired men welcomed rest and being home & out of prison...but knew something had obviously happened to Caswell in their ride home. Early the next morning they got up, saddled the horses and started back down their old trail.

The dog still constantly barked and seemed to be trying to get the men to follow him. The dog led them to his master...not far from their home.... was Greenville Caswell Culp laying dead by the side of the trail. It was debatable whether he was killed by Yankees, bushwhackers, robbers or popular 'carpet baggers'.

Those were crazy times Granny said, sometimes whole families were slaughtered and it was not the Yankees but people sometimes just went cfor anything of value. Morals were few.Granny and her 3 little girls continued to live with her sister and razy from the horrors around them. Everybody grabbed brother-in-law, Martha and Daniel and their children, but the war was getting worse and the Confederatacy seemed to be losing. The original Culp family lived nearby and all of Caswells brothers (Edmund, Valentine, John, George and two sisters, together decided that it was safer and wiser for all the women to 'GO TO TEXAS' for the land grants and freedom.

The men said they would come and join the women in Texas after the war was over. (*they all did but Caswell)My Granny and her 3 little girls, age 6, 2, and infant, along with Martha and her 3 children and 4 other women and children packed a wagon in Autumn of 1864 and headed for Texas, alone. All women..with little babies and children.Granny said that 'winter set in early that year and the snow was unbelievably horrible.

The wheels would barely move and they often had to dig their way out. They finally ran out of food. They were scared to death, freezing cold, the kids were starving and they had no choice but to CROSS the horrible-most feared, Mason-Dixon Yankee line and beg for food and help from the nearest Yankee Fort.Granny constantly told my Mother and her sister, my Aunt Jewel, about how scared they were of the "Yankees' because 'all they had ever been told were horrible, morbid stories of torture, rape and death.'

She remembered vividly seeing the Yankee Fort from the distance and being so scared of what was going to happen to them... but they had no choice. No food, starving and their children had to come first, regardless what happened to them as women.They tore the bottom off of their petticoats to make 'white rags' to waved them at the Yankee Fort, hoping the Yankees would know that they 'came in Peace' up.

Granny said she could easily see the Yankee soldiers standing at the top rails of the Fort with their rifles and gun pointed directly at her and Martha on the front of the wagon seat. She said no one can describe the feeling until they live it. It was horrible beyond words. The women just kept waving the white rags. Finally the soldiers SAW that they were 'just women and kids' and they allowed them to come inside. They opened the big wooden gates and brought them inside to a big camp fire that was built in the middle of the Fort.

Granny said nothing ever felt better than that warm fire and just seeing people. They told the soldiers that they were headed for Texas and that her husband had been killed in the war. The soldiers just looked at them with pity because they knew they probably would never make women and kids traveling so far and in the winter weather. The Yankees were very, very kind to them. Granny & Martha couldn't believe the soldiers were so nice to them since they were really part of the Confederacy.

The Yankees fed them a big supper and breakfast the next morning. They also didn't have a lot of food at the Fort for the their own soldiers but they kindly gave Granny and the women one large bag of Flour and 2 small bags of corn meal...which was all that they had to spare. Again, after a nice exchange between everyone, the Yankees soldiers wished them safe travel to Texas.

Many things happened along the travels but yes, they DID make it to Greenock Community for their land grant in Texas ( NE of Valley Mills). 1866....and built their log cabin 1868...later their house of one room house and a fireplace----which each still stand today, March 2007, almost 140 years. My Mother told me that Granny (who lived to be nearly 90 years old) said they used mules and dragged the 'logs from East Texas to build the cabin."....but as Mom said...however who knows WHERE and what they called East Texas??? (not much telling)

Granny often told Momma that the worse thing about moving to Texas was the Commanche Indians. She repeatedly told my Mother and Aunt Jewel as little girls, all about the massacres that the Commanches did the early days of Texas... by scalping the hair off of the heads of the whole family of farmers, killing their pets...especially those on the isolated farms. Plus the Indians always stole all their livestock, animals and household things and then finally would burn down their houses and barn before leaving.

Momma said that she constantly had screaming 'nightmares' because of Granny's awful stories throughout her childhood...but she dearly loved Granny (they always lived together) and Momma was with her when she took her last breath in their family home in 1923. Seven years later, Momma also held her own mother, Emma, as she passed away in the same house. (this is part of the reason I treasure my childhood home/life...because my Mother and I were both born in the same house, same room, SAME BED....40 years a part....on top of the above awesome history and story of success and sorrow)My Mothers Grandaddy, Madison Earl Bryant, in 1904 (when my Mom was 4) added/built 2 more bedrooms (16x16 Ft same size as the main room), a large hallway and beautiful porch onto to Granny's house. He hand carved all the little 'ginger bread' shingles for the front porch and trimmings.

He hand carved the fireplace front from one rock, 6-7 inches by 2 ft by 5 ft. He and my Grandmother Emma planted 10 Hackberry trees in the front yard in perfect formation (most have died in last 30 years). He was a Baptist preacher (2 years as a Circuit Rider Preacher-his twin brother, Nelson, was a photographer, traveled with him taking photos of early schools/children).

Granddaddy was a writing and music teacher, blacksmith, farmer of huge orchards and raised TOBACCO...seeds/training from old South. ha ha (remember smoking was an OK thing back then...) I can remember one of his orchards and riding the old wagon Packed with bushel baskets full of awesomely delicious peaches---except I hated peach fuzz...and still do. ha ha I can still remember the awesome Smell of fresh peaches as Momma peeled them for the old Crock pots (not modern day electric) true Crock pottery pots used for canning. (I have one on my patio...but sad to say it is still together...but it is so old that it is a real CRACKED CROCK pot. ha ha But I love it anyway.)

And oh yes...the old log still stands! Roof blew off some years back. We have used it as a 'corn crib' all through the years. We all dearly LOVED the Log crib. The logs became the home of 100's of Cedar bees (they look like Bumble Bees but do not sting).

My brothers and I dearly loved to catch the cedar bees when friends came by because everybody always THOUGHT they were Bumble bees...they would always run like crazy.... scream bloody murder in fear of being stung..,..while we would laugh and then finally... show them that they were OK. The Cabin had a south door, East door and a top west window that was awesome to use as a 'look out' when the crib was filled with corn.

My brother and I used to Race to see who could CLIMB up the logs to the top window the fastest! As a child, you quickly learned exactly where to put your hands/feet between each log to get to the top. As said...we treasured Great Granny's " Log Crib".

Well, I guess this is enough for one walk down the PATH of the PAST. Humbly, I just want to knee down to thank God for being there... for them....for us....for anyone who will allow it. Have a blest day, today and everyday. In His love, honor and praise, always, Gloria
posted by Gloria @ 10:08 AM 2 Comments

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Shock vs Silence....

Virginia Tech terrorist attack should AWAKEN some hard heads THAT TERRORIST are real.

The last two years all we have heard in the MEDIA ya ya that 'terrorist' and terrorism is a 'dreamed up Republican ploys to 'fool the people'.

WELL, WHAT ELSE DOES IT TAKE? Another twin towers...and Pentagon attack?

Now is the time for all good PEOPLE to stop being "Mr/Mrs Nice guy" and letting MOUTHY MEDIA, Hollywood cat-rats use every area of the MEDIA to curse America! Oprah, I love you for your good and heart...but your attacks and suttle media influences to SAY or IMPLY negatives...about the war...the terrorist...our President...and leaders----YA need to wake up DEAR GIRL!

Will the media now... still say 'it's all a big lie?"

A few weeks ago, I read the neatest thing that I told some friends about and that I was going to put it on the blog....about when....'we sit in silence...not realizing that sometimes...our silence can also become our sin...when it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY. This is the case today....sad to say...because of the horrible attack on Virginia Tech... the innocent....the horrors...the evil of a well PLANNED OUT TERROR ATTACK! We as the common people have sat silent far too long. Have you heard the news today that a humpteen other 'terrorist threats' have been made all across this nation since .....with every kind of 'copycat' weirdo TRYING to 'get attention', make a name for themselves...whatever????? campus, after campus..yikes!

The article that I spoke of pointed out that a few years ago...DR. CHARLES MALIK, a Christian but also the LEBANESE statesman, educator, diplomat and FORMER SECRETARY OF THE UNITED NATIONS...made the statement publicly, (concerning terrorist)...."If we are going to change the world...we have got to 'change men's hearts. And ONLY JESUS CHRIST can change men's hearts!" wonderful to know that ANYONE out of the United Nations actually SAID so powerful.

Our wonderful world is crumbling at it's foundation...especially our awesome America... our beloved NATION that was FOUNDED by our forefathers with all foundations on the principals of GOD, JESUS CHRIST, THE BIBLE... to a sad state of being today, where we can See our little kids idolize Nazi images, Godless rock stars, musicians, games, dress and language.

Monkey see...monkey do. No Just Do it.

Dr. Malik went on to speak about Believers speaking out/up for values, morals. And Jesus CAN ... as he uses us as His vessels to others.

An example given was about the RUSSIAN LEADER, NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV. As many of you remember when our greatest enemy was Russia, who proclaimed to 'wipe America off the map' with bombs....when they began their campaign world wide motto, "Better RED (Russian) than Dead!" as threats of scare tactics. Then in one of his moments of trying to 'get other world powers to 'look to him'...Nikita (the self-proclaim 'lover boy'...fat and pudgy-yuk)...came lumbering over to the UNITED STATES with every media in the world to SEE his gesture of friendship...ha ....he came to NYC...Washington DC...and wanted to visit our military installations and share warfare information.) yeah, right!!!

At the time...NEITHER... the man/nor his country was our friend. Period. BUUUT... DURING that visit to the United States...the following true story occurred and is well worth the LESSON for all of us today. Esp. with the Virginia Tech horror!

While Mr. Nikita...the Chicqueta....was at a huge CONFERENCE at our Capitol in Washington D.C. ... a newspaper journalists of the Washington Press the freedom to 'ask Mr. Khrushchev the FIRST question for the press releases. (handled through an interpreter of coarse).

" you talked all about the HIDEOUS rule of YOUR PREDECESSOR, ....STALIN. You were 'one of his CLOSEST Aides and Colleagues...during those years. WHAT WERE YOU DOING during all that time?"

(the journalist was imply referring to the fact the height of the Russian Power that they EXTERMINATED OVER 40,000 People PER MONTH !!!

Silently....Khrushchev's face turned blood red. Then he ROARED OUT, "Who asked that question?

All of the 500 or so...reporters/journalist dropped their heads, faces turned fear.
Silence....very dead silence covered the room,

Again, Khrushchev yelled out "Who asked that question?" "Who said that?"

Still no response.....only silence from the gigantic room.

The SILENCE BECAME LONG... suffocating... but still not one voice came to answer the booming voiced Russian ........just total silence.

FINALLY.... Nikita Khrushchev who was well known for his brutal character and big boldsterous voice..... slowly stepped back from the microphones....then slowly stepped back UP to the microphones....and very quietly and very, very slowly said...."THAT'S exactly what I WAS DOING!"

Silence. Silence during a Holocaust of Horrors to millions upon millions of innocent men, women and little children, by burning, gasing, raping and burying alive...he too was silent.
Maybe we are all somewhat guilty of 'the sin of silence'....this may be our greatest of sins...not helping bring others to 'know Jesus Christ'?

Jesus...and our prayers ...and our standing up...speaking out as believers, sharing HIS salvation plan with every be brave when we feel like running and being SILENT.

Like the awesome foreign Professor at Virginia Tech...who STOOD yelling at the students to run and jump out the windows...yet he was shot and killed by a blood crazed terrorist. But this awesome Professor spoke. He was not silent, frozen in fear.
God Bless them all...but especially hero's.

Lord, help me/us follow such a great man's example. Forgive me/us for when we have sat in silence or fear of standing/speaking.

As we all pray for this horrible and all the days ahead...let's also pray for our nation of BELIEVERS to find ways, means, and methods of SPEAKING out....speaking up and openly about our Godly values/beliefs...Jesus' Grace....pray for OURSELVES. I have no desire to offend others...but when WRONG's time to follow the example of Jesus the week of Passover and 'clean the junk out of the synagogues...our stand up, speak and not be silent about HIS KINGDOM COME! Rev 22 "Come Lord Jesus, come"

Monday, April 16, 2007

Our sin of Silence...Age teaches HIS truth...sometimes

It's a Beautiful Monday Morning, sun is shining...birds are chirpings, fragrance of roses coming in my windows...along with that PERFECT gentle breeze and I got 'chicken and dumplings on the stove acookin' for Poppa's favorite supper.

We are secretly CELEBRATING...ha real secrets here...we're too old for that. ha ha years ago...we as High School sweethearts and Class Favorites...were GRADUATING! 49 YEARS!

Somehow it seems only yesterday....and reality reminds us instantly that billions of tons of water has 'rolled over our bridge of life' in these last 49 years. Almost that many 'near Death' events between the two of us..ha ha but ..... Wow, God is soooo good. We married the Christmas after we graduated and dearly treasure our awesome teenage joys and experiences....just as we have the awesome blessings of God's touch on our married years of two awesome kids...and now the years of watching grandkids beautiful little faces grow/change---and see OUR grown kids now face the perils that we have lovingly.... forgotten...but certainly experienced to the max. ha ha Old age can be the most humorous time of all. Physical pains can be overcome by tons of laughter and 'just watching the world go by'.

But that brings me to the POINT of my writing today. I did not ever THINK about the 'sin of silence' throughout my youth. I was quickly reminded of this fact early this morning in my Bible reading inspirationals that I will share with you later in the week.

I was almost 31 years old when I got a huge lesson....and lifetime stomach full of that 'sometimes very painful meal." Silence can be a Big Sin...very hurtful.

My Husband's most beloved Grandfather died suddenly one evening watching the 6 O'clock news. My husband was raised by his awesome grandparents...and because I had never even had grandparents and was born to parents....who were almost the same age as my husbands Grandparents.....I loved these two darlings,dearly, second only to my own parents. Beyond descriptions. They were Christians to the max. Grandma had become almost my best friend, as odd as that may sound.

However..there was always a BRIDGE between them and their only husbands Dad, (whom my husband also loved and idolized.... but often didn't understand). And by the time I came along, I heard so many stories...I was TOTALLY confused...ha ha...but have always found my husband to be very honest and truth about his challenging childhood.

For many reasons possibly...Wartime, no money, whatever the cause both of my husbands parents CHOSE to 'give their son' these dear Grandparents...who were already retired. (this became his richest blessing...tho confusing to him as a little child and teenager).

Grandma and Grandpa's only son was loved dearly but by their words.... was well known as a quiet but active 'skirt chaser' as his last wife, also, often said in laughter. Tall, neat, nice looking but he mostg often found it hard to 'stick to rules' in those younger years of war time weariness. My father in law had 3 marriages and my very attractive and vibrant mother in law a grand total of five....not to mention all the OTHER in betweens...that my husband witnessed and then actually became culturely effected by because they lived in a small rural community where everyone knew everyone else's business better their own.

So, because of they raised my husband...and loved them so dearly..... Grandpa's death nearly wiped us both 'off of the map'. The shock. It was also the first CLOSE...(death) of loved one that EITHER of us had ever experienced. "Devastation" doesn't come even explaining our emotions and loss of Grandpa. And even worse was yet to come....

INHERITANCE!!! What an awful word. I can't stand churns a sick feeling to the very pit of my stomach even today, 30+ years later. All due to the first deaths that occurred in my in-laws families. (Paternal andlater on... Maternal...)

Since Grandma and Grandpa had worked like slave dairy farmers all their life...we didn't know it at the time...but yes, they had built quite a nice bank account and life for themselves...most deservedly.... and always tried to remember their Sunday morning tithe as they attended church faithfully.

My husband tells that in all of his life...he never, ever heard his Grandpa say a single bad word...even when he got furious with cows, tractors, whatever. He just never set a bad example and actually didn't have much to say...just loved us ...and our kids beyond measure. (Grandma was more like me and my hubby....sorry, folks...we, like most....just lose it sometimes' but afterwards you could at least find somekind of humor out of whatever the mess.) But Grandpa was a man of men!!!

Poor Grandpa was not....gone 4 hours when the BUZZARDS began their swoop! (their 2 grown children....grandchildren). Yuk Yuk Yuk Whispers and open statements...... Inheritance....who...what...when...where...

I wanted to SCREAM...yet as the.... 'unwanted child's wife....I CERTAINLY didn't dare speak...but we were so shocked...! (maybe you have seen/heard of this...but it was just beyond our 'thinking'...

Maybe it was because we were younger, or both felt we OWED so much in repaying and giving back to Grandma and Grandpa...but these people made us both want to cringe and run 'from the snakes' (as we used to say on the ranch when I was a little kid). ha ha

And let me say right here, please, my husband and both were working full time and had very good jobs and so money was never 'a thing' to us in those years. (later on...yep...but not this stage of life ...ha ha) In fact WE spent each weekend, TREATING his grandparents to trips and travels as much as we could...because they neither one had ever, ever done anything but work on the farm. They dearly loved to travel with us and our little boy (that they adored)... anywhere, anytime. In fact the weekend before his death....we took them to the Texas International Wildlife Reserve...where they saw their FIRST wild animals...monkeys crawled all over our car as we fed them....and Grandpa laughed as we had never seen him before. (A treasured memory) his death...a ROYAL MESS ensured! The Son and the daughter of this old couple...with all their kids...grandkids...dogs and cats got into this huge, ugly mess. I do not need to 'go into' their greed and issues... but the biggest and most horrible my husband----was that it seemed EVERYONE of them ....WANTED INHERITANCE... MONEY, stuff, household items...division/parts/this/that....

Grandma was so hurt...(Not one single them...out of a zooloo tribe EVEN OFFERED to help her...settle back in after Grandpa's sudden death, closing less a place to live...because she was afraid to live alone in their old home). She and her son's wife never got along, because she said that the daughter in law "trapped her son into marriage when they met in a bar where she was ===fly. So, understandably...there would be no real help from her son's side. Then...for her only daughter's side of the family who were the BIGGEST grabbers, talkers and most disrespect....they said 'they were toooo old to take on 'that responsibility' (WHAT???)

Also realize...Grandma...was ACTIVE... and avid fisher-woman...with tons of, Civic Club, Home Demonstration Club...and campers/fishing...her hobby. It's not like she was in a wheelchair, invalid...she was vibrant, joyful and tops. (her daughter and daughter in law were neither one this type at the time).

Her SON....who had been....supported through a thousand and not so legal, angry husbands shooting at her son....paying money for him and each of wives/women issue, time and time and time, trucks, what ever===now when SHE NEEDED HIM....he simply...SAT SILENTLY... he did not SAY A WORD to support his beloved Mother!!!

Grandma was not a person to cry. Very seldom did you see tears. She had Indian blood...way back...and she was rather proud and used to my own dear Mom..."Cry ...and you cry alone....laugh and the world laughs with you." But she cried. Not publicly....not making a big fuss...just tears of brokenness....loss...loneliness and rejection....and DIS BELIEF!!! When she needed her kids the most...they simply FORGOT all she and Grandpa had ever done for them when THEY needed help.

Her hurt....broke my heart! That day, I looked at my wonderful young husband...compared to the mess of people around me...and whisper to him, "this cannot be happening...not to Grandma...after all that she and Granpa have done for this bunch----if you agree----we are taking GRANDMA to our house one way or another, I can't stand this c---!"

Tears in his eyes too....we both went to Grandma and I hugged her (for the jillionth time) and said, "Grandma if you can stand us....WE want you to come live with us. You have given us so we want to give back to you and 'hit those fishing holes together" INSTANTLY....she beautifully....'changed her tears of the most beautiful TEARS OF JOY....EXCITEMENT.....HOPE!!!

As life would have it....there were 3 more huge messy INCIDENCES that took place in the next month following...and all three times....THE INCIDENCES ...would NEVER have happened ....IF the husbands father HAD TAKEN up his own RESPONSIBILITY...spoken up....spoken out...done what he and God expected him to do!

HE KNEW IT... he simply sat on his buns...popped his fingers together repeatedly and said, ''Well, I didn't DO anything". "Well, at least I didn't say anything"... (as if being SO HONORABLE....made Himself a little above those problems that he was a PART of....helped to cause) YEP! DOING NOTHING....SAYING NOTHING....when your are RESPONSIBLE for THE sinful.

AND YEP....SILENCE can be a SIN. And often... very, very painful sin...with thousands of reprecussions, pain and suffering to many people....innocent people. And yes, thoughout all the years I have dearly LOVED my father in law...and I know he loves me very, very much and really respects and appreciates me as well. He has always been easy for me to enjoy, even tho I didn't always understand. I treasure him today, just as I did his precious Mother.

But, unknowlingly.... he did teach me a lesson that I needed ....and have thought of many, many times---when I TOO, WOULD RATHER sit silence and never say a word...but knowing in my heart that God Almighty says that is it my responsibility to 'do it Right".

I, again like my beloved father in law...have failed....often. I sat back. Silence can be a sin, whether we realize it or not. God REWARDS RIGHT CHOICES. The greatest joy....was when I spoke up to a bunch of money hungry kinfolks...that I was very, very intimidated by....and said, Grandma is coming to live with US!".....

No, changing lifestyles is never easy and nothing goes around in life perfect but.....there were never ANY cross words ever spoken between our Grandma and us throughout the time she lived with us. Which says a ton for all concerned when you blend 3 generations. She always we were her rescue and greatest blessing....but SHE was such a blessing to me, my husband and our two little ones throughout those years. (the grandma that kinfolks wanted her 'stuff' but not her...was our greatest pleasure and treasure.)

Wow, what wonderful times and memories we made throughout all those years. We were so blest!

So, on this beautiful Monday.....This memory is worthy of saying ''THANKS, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA for raising AND LOVING... my High School Sweetheart... and LIFETIME FRIEND.... and Thanks to my beloved father in law....for giving my husband LIFE.....for this really is... Happy Graduation Day 49 years later....BECAUSE YOU CARED!!!!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Walk by Faith...not by sight II Cor. 5:7

Dear blog readers and friends, this morning is cloudy and stormy for me. How about you? Are there days that you feel blessed...but yet...there is STILL a heavy foreboding that seems to 'just crawl out and cover you''. I know I am not alone with these feelings the TIME of these feelings...sometimes I do feel alone. SO...WALK BY FAITH...NOT BY WHAT MY EYES SEE!!!! Yes, like me.....even old Barnabus needed ENCOURAGEMENT from Paul and Timothy.

Maybe it is that I am aging. Maybe it's that I KNOW I was born to be a SUNSHINE PERSON...and on dreary days, I suddenly become some sort of a 'turtle' and want to crawl way back up inside my shell and 'just peek at the world outside for the day.' ha ha

sounds silly but God created I have to believe He also knows my emotions and why....and would like for me to hush up, get up and get out and 'do' SOMETHING better. (but oh, sometimes the warm dark corner really does feel safer...ha ha...that's part of my dark sense of humor...but at least I still have a 'sense of humor' ha ha.

The REAL truth is....I know why I feel this way. Yes, I am happy and feel blest and actually feel quite well for the health situations that I have been through some of you...I am sad...even over feeling happy...BECAUSE so many of my dear, dear friends are very, very sick....and very close family members hovering so close to tons of suffering. I can't....and don't want to....keep them out of my thoughts.

I pray....and I know God hears and answers. But I keep remember my own suffering/pains...I cringe....knowing they are hurting still. I ache for them.

My favorite sister-in-law, who, together with me, has had Cancer twice and were closest of prayer partners....stage 4 and she has it again...her 3rd) It makes me sick to even think about it. When is Enough? Together... Our motto...(my original motto in 1995) that as Christians....either way with these diagnosis' WE WIN!!! We do not lose. We can not lose. If our Lord choses to answer prayers in our behalf and we get to stay a while longer... HOOOOORAY....but if He choses to takes to our real home we still win and have no more suffering, pain, worry, guilt and expense to our loved ones. Again, either way a Christian wins.

But the other side of the coin. Those we leave behind/ I am hurting/aching right now at just the thought of my friends 'might be passing'. It hurts and hurts deeply...

Day before yesterday, my beloved friend, mentor and closest partner in ministry with me for the last 8 years....a gentle sweet man who dearly loves life to the fullest....had tears streaming down his cheeks, came straight to me at a conference at Baylors Truett Seminary. He has a very rapid form of Parkinson's Disease....and we have watched this perfectly healthy body deteriorate in the last 18 months to a constant shaking from head to a 'wobble' to where he can barely walk, stand alone. His hand shake so much that he can't hold his fork or knife...and when he can...he can't hit his mouth very well. It mortifies him.

This darling man is still constantly 'making jokes' and trying to SURVIVE with a sense of humor and prayers...medicines that seem to do little......but injections very, very painful.
He and his beloved wife, my best of buddies....met a college students at Baylor when I was just a little girl. She majored in music and he in communications. She became a Broadway singer and was in numerous popular broadway shows when they first got married and lived in NYC. They moved to Philidelphia doing the same, then California....then back to Dallas where they stayed and raised their family and she continued performing successfully. He was a very lively Radio Morning Show favorite on both KRLD and KFFA in Dallas for over 20 years. He is tops at popping out 'jokes'. Dry witted but hilarious. I worked with this darling couple to expand STATE WIDE...the 'JESUS' video movies back about 10 years ago...and again 4 yrs. later the CHILDRENS' version of the movie. We worked out of Tyler, Tx. In turn I helped them get started as leaders for a volunteer SENIOR CITIZENS statewide conventions in each of the larger cities. Through both of the projects and the Baylor Senior adult Choir, we are always together....and have a blast together...and we make sure that everybody else NEARBY also has a blast of a good time laughing.

The tears? My dear friend, Norm, was told by his specialist this week that he will soon also lose his voice and will not be able to speak or sing. (he LIVES to sing, laugh and tell jokes). Up until the disease hit about 2 yrs. ago he was in a awesome acapello mens quartet of entertainers.
His tears were mingled with my own...and his dear wife....Ann who KNOWS how much his voice means to him....and to their whole life and lifestyle....and even in simple communications with each other with his vast needs at this time of his body wearing down. They need your prayers

My only brother-in-law also has this same disease and this last year...especially this last week....has really taken it's toll on him. His body and his brain are both failing very badly...all of a sudden. He has been to hide the disease as a college professor for years. But he is suddenly unble to drive or remember well. My sister is not in good health either, just had major surgery on top of past heart attacks and presently having more heart and body pains/medicines in the last two weeks.

Then lastly..and...the most dear friend, Ruth called to share that BOTH she and her husband HAVE last stage CANCER. She and her husband are the DIRECTORS for the BAYLOR UNIVERSITY SENIOR ADULT CHOIR. They have over 100 in choir. He also directors their church choir of about 50. They are GIVERS! Awesome Christian leaders and fill such a vast need for Senior adults with Christian music. They was sooo needed and yet both of them are in horrible health/pain and suffering. She called and talked to me for almost an hour because 'she knew I could identify' with.....and help her....understand some of the horrible mess that she is having to go through. I felt so honored that God allowed me to help .....someone else.... who is such an AWESOME leader and helper to hundreds of others. She has asked for every one's prayer: Ruth and Charles.

So, yes, today is cloudy and thunderstorms are suppose to come tonight and my heart is heavy for all the above loved ones.....and huItalicmpteen jillion others that are not mentioned here...but because Jesus lived, died, arose....lives forever...I know I can also simply pray for these and ask you who read to do the same...."not our will..but His will be done'.....power and healing with OUT pain and suffering. Regardless what tomorrow we can/will PRAISE HIM, THANK HIM for all the good stuff and blessings....grab every rainbow, treasure the raindrops and sunray....and FIND LAUGHTER...even in the shadows.

Thank you, Lord...I think it's time for me to pull out of my 'turtle shell', lift my hands to praise you, smile and give a phone call to each one of these and 'tell them an silly internet joke' they can have some of YOUR GOOD LAUGHTER.

Have a blest day. We'll visit again next week. Jim and I are headed for our daughters and son-in-laws house for a great Fun weekend. Their darling/too wise..... 4 year old ADOPTED CHINESE the PRINCESS" will certainly have plenty of 'good stuff' to entertain us ALL WITH....and bring everybody LAUGHTER ....AND LOTS OF IT!!! So, Funny!!!

Laughter doeth good!
Little Billy, age 5, was PROMOTED to the Beginner Dept. in Sunday School but was puzzled. He asked his Mom, "Mom I don't see WHY my teacher didn't get Promoted too, cause she knows 'bout as much I do' about Jesus". (smile, bless the little children)

Isaiah 41: 10 FEAR THOU NOT...for I AM with thee; be not dismayed; FOR I AM THY GOD: I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Monday, April 9, 2007

SNOW covered Easter Eggs and Bluebonnets...Wow!!!

Wow! History was made in Central Texas! First SNOWFALL in years and IT'S on EASTER! Never before on Easter. In fact our last snowfall in this area of Texas was....3 years ago..... on VALENTINES DAY.... Feb. 14, 2004!!! Only one other Recorded snowfall in April ever Cen tral Texas over 60 something years ago.

So, our beautiful massive hillsides of gorgeous BLUEBONNETS became quickly covered on the north side in white snow. What an awesome unusual sight for this part of Texas. The front page of our EASTER SUNDAY NEWSPAPER....was a huge color EASTER SNOW BUNNY ....made on some one's front lawn. So cute! Complete with big long PINK AND WHITE EARS, and carrot in his mouth.

This Easter Rabbits ....silly carrot in the mouth ....was a quick reminder to me of a BIG STONE that was ROLLED AWAY from the mouth of a dead mans tomb....back 2000 years ago on that first Easter when in the Bible Luke 24:1-2-----the angel stood at Jesus tomb and told them 'not to be afraid but that their Savior had Arisen and would soon meet them later on....and for the women to 'go and tell the story'.

In todays world....we all at sometime or another....and maybe even every day....have a BIG ROCK that we need to ROLL away from our door/tomb/heart/or maybe a carrot in our mouth....ha ha..... When we give it a little God tells us to 'search our hearts"....especially at Easter time....we are to review, be..... Renewed, refresh.

In life today.... we all have many, many STONES that need to be ROLLED away....or at least it fits me...maybe you can also finds his message from some of these simple examples:

The Stone of Forgiveness because of hurt, anger, rejection...intentional and UNintentional....done to us....or by us....all lay secretly hidden, smoldering, eating away at our heart in ways that God tells to let go and let Him take over. We cannot change the past ....we can only try to make right choices in the present and pray for the future.

Stones of Bitterness: when we make Too Much out of Too Little. Mountains out of mole hills and we end up hurting ourselves more than anyone else. No one else knows about your secret hurts and grumbles...we hurt only ourselves with these self-pity parties.

Stones of Guilt: I should have done this....I should have done that....said this...said that. Guilt is the biggest waste of time, energy and good health possible. Again, past is past...make right choices in the present, forget the past and pray over past....present and future.

As American we sometimes bury ourselves...unknowingly.... behind tomb STONES of hypocricy: LIVING two different kinds of lives. The one we show the world and the real one inside our heart. We WANT TO BE ALL GOD WANTS US TO BE....yet we walk....follow....and maybe even LEAD in the way of our peers...of our world in which we live, love and see each day. We care more about what people see/hear/think....than what our Lord sees/hears/watches.

Sometimes our Rock in front of our door is one of Emptiness: A great loss has occurred! A loved one, a job, a church, a friend, a relationship or financial failures. It may be a physical, a body part...whatever loss and emptiness. Loss is loss....hurt is hurt, looking back only to learn from mistakes but all else is waste, God wants us to remind ourselves that He is in control....He can and will bring back happiness, joy and obedience and leaning on Him. Remember the times of laughter, joy and giggles. He makes Stars from our Scars!!!

Maybe our Stone is one of Idolatry and we don't even realize it. Work before God. Hobbies before God. Time and money before God. Most of all our heart to other things before God.

There are probably hundreds of STONES that we... as a Nation of Godly ordained People....or as individual believers in Jesus Christ..... have allowed to BLOCK out the SON's light to our life and door ways every day and we don't even realize it. Everything from stones of worry/fear (*be not afraid*)....Hopelessness/helpless/lonliness at times (*Jesus is Alive/here*) and last but certainly not least....Stone of it alcohol, drugs, gambling, foods, gossip, judgement/criticisms of others, our laziness, procrastination....on and on it goes.............but......for all of these rock piles, quarries, gravel pits and STONES.... our Lord and Savior.....ROLLED away that ONE BIG STONE on that very first EASTER bless all of us who will JUST BELIEVE, pick up our cross/burdens and FOLLOW HIM....and then bless others along our way.

THANK YOU LORD JESUS, as our Savior, Holy Father, Son ....for suffering in our place for all the horrible rocks we allow into our front of doorway, our be forgiven!!! For GRACE there is no great gift, Lord God and we thank you!

Thank you also for the beauty of awesome unexpected SNOWSTORM on Easter 2007, ...for SNOW BUNNIES to laugh at and beautiful snow laden trees, prairies, lawns, meadows. Bluebonnets & my (Momma's) pink rosebuds to admire.... yet the warmth of snuggly blankets, homes and families to share YOUR Gifts/salvation/GRACE!!! Happy Easter, Lord, Thank YOU, we love you,Lord, Your child, gloria

Friday, April 6, 2007

'GOOD FRIDAY''....His Sorrow became our Grace

Thank YOU, Jesus, for this day and your sacrifice!

Today is another beautiful Sonshiney perfect for remembering what Jesus went through in order that we can be forgiven....blest...and rewarded with eternal life. Wouldn't it be wonderful that IF EVERY person that felt the WARMTH of that sun upon their back...also... felt and knew the Light, warmth and saving Grace of Jesus Christ.

(however....if that were the case....we as HIS followers wouldn't have any WORK to do down here....) But just a neat thought. :-??

Since our God is Master and Creator of our 'Sense of Humor" and assures us that the gift of laughter is meant to erase tears and sorrow. Consider the following as you go to church this Easter Sunday.

* A very ENTHUSIASTIC fellow walked into a very dignified church worship service one Sunday morning and he sat down in a pew near the front of the church. The minister had just started his neat sermon, when the visitor said in total agreement.... a rather warm "AMEN"!

Standing nearby was an Usher...who suddenly FROWNED!

A moment later the minister said something else that impressed the visitor greatly and the visitor, once again "Amen, Praise the Lord!"

This was just TOO MUCH for the Usher....he went up to the visitor...leaned down and whisper to the visitor very firmly, ''QUIET, WE don't do that here!"

The visitors quickly explained to the Usher..."But Sir, I have Religion".....

Immediately the Usher replied, "Well, you didn't get HERE!"

amen...amen ha ha

One Sunday a minister was 'droning' on and on....when he noticed a man sound asleep in the congregation. Sooo, He raised his voice...he stomped his feet....but the man did not wake up. Finally the preacher called over a deacon and said "Go wake that man up!"

"Sir"...the puzzled deacon replied........ "YOU go wake him were the one that put him to sleep!"..............................................
snore snore.............ha ha ha..and life goes on.....................

PRAISE TO HIM.....who allows us to have such fun!!! Glorious Blessings.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Returning to the Shores of BLOG....

Well, after a few weeks of lots of unusual experiences but no bloggin...we are starting up once again. Today the Texas Sunshine is awesome, the bluebonnets are absolutely gorgeous and covering the land with a beauty that only God can do.

Yesterday was a wonderful day at Baylor Truett Seminary with all my beloved sisters in Christ and Centex Pastors/Missionaries conference/luncheon. This is always so special and enjoyed by everyone. I feel so blest. However...physically....I am bummed out...horrible. Last Friday the specialist vaccumned my ears out and then pour in the drugs that left me deaf as a door knob. Add that with a deep chest cold. Dizzy headed and weak....WOW, AGING is soooo much fun. ha ha

I am quickly put to 'shame' when I look around me at some of my dearest friends and family members who have greater situations than I have. Humbly, I asked for forgiveness for I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me".

I hope that you have a wonderful day....everyday. I am glad to be back at the BLOGGIN fun world and look forward to fun days ahead. May God bless you and yours. In His love, honor and praise as we celebrate the GREATEST EVENT IN LIFE....Good Friday, Salvation, Jesus' gift of Grace and EASTER SONDAY!!! Have a happy celebration!!! Humbly His, Gloria----to HIS name!