Martha Stewart...I am NOT....

I live in the Country and LOVE IT. I love spending my early morning and late evening hours on my patio watching humming birds feed, mockingbirds heckle all the other birds, woblers wobble and flirt with each other...ha ha

However, I enjoy remembering our kids in the old tire swing that our son put up humpteen jillion years ago and it still hangs there in the tree... like a haunting relic from the past...but it brings joy to me.

Last Friday, I came to realize the TRUE meaning of the old adage that "beauty is ONLY in the eye of the beholder!"

You know...every one has heard the old jokes about ' that guy has a FACE that ONLY a Mother could love". etc. etc. (or that Baby is soooo beautiful....to it's parents.) ha ha silly, silly things from the past. But it became toooo real to me last week.

As stated I LOVE being home...being retired after 31 years of hassling the work world issues, pain and suffering at the hands of others. I really do enjoy, appreciate and love JUST SITTING on my 'terrace...ah ha...patio...jes me n God a talkin' It's a highlight of my life.

The 'cool of the morning...springtime....and the cool of the evening is so wonderful but....IS NOT the same as the NOON DAY HEAT in Texas (or any where else most likely).

I had planted ELEPHANT EAR plants along with my usual 'Morning Glories" vines and was 'ever=soo=proud of my 'retirement green thumb (my whole adult life...has been dedicated to SILK fake flowers....tha kind you don't haveta 'tend to'. Jus buy em @ the Dollar store or Wal-mart and wow..they brighten up the whole place. Simple.

However my mother ALWAYS loved growing plants...and I wanted to be like her...desparately...but I had two kids involved in 10 millions awesome activities...and GREEN THUMB TIME was not to be my choice during those years.

But NOW, ahhhh, out comes Martha Stewart and the plants. I have to learn to 'READ DIRECTIONS on the package...a new trick for me. Yuk. Why can't ya just 'dump em in the dirt and they do their thing..and I'll do mine??? Not! Martha would NEV AH!!!

Back to last Friday...guest arrive...city slickers....no less....hummm...I take them 'out on my beloved patio....to show them 'My green thumb art....

(Now, I dearly love these vines... growing rapidly...daily I watch them...crawl up the 4 new white lattice trellis'. I love the large elephant ears protruding from a small bulb in some old weather worn ground. I am thrilled. I want them to see their lush green beauty...but it's noon...it's hot...it's muggy and yuky temperatures.....and I already have a splitting head ache!!!

I look at my guest's faces in the mid day heat.....

Suddenly...I See my world through THEIR eyes.....YIKES!

Deliver me. NOW ALL I COULD SEE was the negatives....oh Lord, the grass needed cutting so badly...because the recent floods we hadn't been able to do that. Debris was washed up and on the patio. The once beautiful green outdoor carpet...now was ripped, weathered, rotton, flipped back....black bird poop all over one of my back yard tables and chairs......plus I HAD A SEVERE HEADACHE. (beam me up Lord...it's time!)

(this was not the reaction of my guest....just in the eye of this beholder....who....quickly retreated back into the air conditioned house...which helped my aching head and heart. How silly to realize suddenly in your joy of retirement sanctity...that one persons trash is anothers TREASURE....and.....BEAUTY really IS ....ONLY in the eyes of the beholder. (education in green thumbs.....# 509....I finally passed)

But you know what else I learned in that event....afterwards....I STILL LOVED IT....and love it dearly. This is my gift from God. This is my treasure that He made for me and THAT is why it means soooo much to me. (the beauty really ....is in the eye of the beholder...and this place is still special to me...HIS touch)

Then yesterday....I pass ANOTHER education class # 241=====ha ha

As is done everyday....my beloved hubby, who is a trucker who passes by our house two or three times a day in his driving...and always honks...or calls me on my cell phone (which... HE MAKES me.... wear around my neck. (that's a whole other story...that's necessary to life and funny).

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He called me on the cell phone. It rings. I am watering and spraying my Martha Stewart's Green Thumb garden of elephant ears, morning glories, cannas & jew-----fun, fun, fun

I am happy to hear the phone ringing...knowing I will hear his latest joke or whatever's going on in his world of CBs and cell phones...traffic. My water hose SPRAYer is 'set on SHOWER spray....and is gallantly covering the plants===but when the phone rings====I opened my cell phone....BUT............ PUT THE SPRAYER nozel...up to my ear....................(not my phone..................

Holy cow... I am suddenly sopping wet. I am laughing my head off.

I throw the water hose into the flower bed.

Finally gathering my composure, I answer the phone....and this time....the joke is MINE....this time I get to GIVE a true 'DUMB BLONDE experience that will last a lifetime. (or at least I hope!!!) Needless to say...my husband nearly laughed himself into cardiac arrest.

Moral of the story....don't grow old....you lose your brains.... "Martha, Martha where are you?"