Our sin of Silence...Age teaches HIS truth...sometimes

It's a Beautiful Monday Morning, sun is shining...birds are chirpings, fragrance of roses coming in my windows...along with that PERFECT gentle breeze and I got 'chicken and dumplings on the stove acookin' for Poppa's favorite supper.

We are secretly CELEBRATING...ha ha...no real secrets here...we're too old for that. ha ha However...today...49 years ago...we as High School sweethearts and Class Favorites...were GRADUATING! 49 YEARS!

Somehow it seems only yesterday....and reality reminds us instantly that billions of tons of water has 'rolled over our bridge of life' in these last 49 years. Almost that many 'near Death' events between the two of us..ha ha but ..... Wow, God is soooo good. We married the Christmas after we graduated and dearly treasure our awesome teenage joys and experiences....just as we have the awesome blessings of God's touch on our married years of two awesome kids...and now the years of watching grandkids beautiful little faces grow/change---and see OUR grown kids now face the perils that we have lovingly.... forgotten...but certainly experienced to the max. ha ha Old age can be the most humorous time of all. Physical pains can be overcome by tons of laughter and 'just watching the world go by'.

But that brings me to the POINT of my writing today. I did not ever THINK about the 'sin of silence' throughout my youth. I was quickly reminded of this fact early this morning in my Bible reading inspirationals that I will share with you later in the week.

I was almost 31 years old when I got a huge lesson....and lifetime stomach full of that 'sometimes very painful meal." Silence can be a Big Sin...very hurtful.

My Husband's most beloved Grandfather died suddenly one evening watching the 6 O'clock news. My husband was raised by his awesome grandparents...and because I had never even had grandparents and was born to parents....who were almost the same age as my husbands Grandparents.....I loved these two darlings,dearly, second only to my own parents. Beyond descriptions. They were Christians to the max. Grandma had become almost my best friend, as odd as that may sound.

However..there was always a BRIDGE between them and their only son...my husbands Dad, (whom my husband also loved and idolized.... but often didn't understand). And by the time I came along, I heard so many stories...I was TOTALLY confused...ha ha...but have always found my husband to be very honest and truth about his challenging childhood.

For many reasons possibly...Wartime, no money, whatever the cause both of my husbands parents CHOSE to 'give their son' away....to these dear Grandparents...who were already retired. (this became his richest blessing...tho confusing to him as a little child and teenager).

Grandma and Grandpa's only son was loved dearly but by their words.... was well known as a quiet but active 'skirt chaser' as his last wife, also, often said in laughter. Tall, neat, nice looking but he mostg often found it hard to 'stick to rules' in those younger years of war time weariness. My father in law had 3 marriages and my very attractive and vibrant mother in law a grand total of five....not to mention all the OTHER in betweens...that my husband witnessed and then actually became culturely effected by because they lived in a small rural community where everyone knew everyone else's business better their own.

So, because of they raised my husband...and loved them so dearly..... Grandpa's death nearly wiped us both 'off of the map'. The shock. It was also the first CLOSE...(death) of loved one that EITHER of us had ever experienced. "Devastation" doesn't come even near......in explaining our emotions and loss of Grandpa. And even worse was yet to come....

INHERITANCE!!! What an awful word. I can't stand it...it churns a sick feeling to the very pit of my stomach even today, 30+ years later. All due to the first deaths that occurred in my in-laws families. (Paternal andlater on... Maternal...)

Since Grandma and Grandpa had worked like slave dairy farmers all their life...we didn't know it at the time...but yes, they had built quite a nice bank account and life for themselves...most deservedly.... and always tried to remember their Sunday morning tithe as they attended church faithfully.

My husband tells that in all of his life...he never, ever heard his Grandpa say a single bad word...even when he got furious with cows, tractors, whatever. He just never set a bad example and actually didn't have much to say...just loved us ...and our kids beyond measure. (Grandma was more like me and my hubby....sorry, folks...we, like most....just lose it sometimes' but afterwards you could at least find somekind of humor out of whatever the mess.) But Grandpa was a man of men!!!

Poor Grandpa was not....gone 4 hours when the BUZZARDS began their swoop! (their 2 grown children....grandchildren). Yuk Yuk Yuk Whispers and open statements...... Inheritance....who...what...when...where...

I wanted to SCREAM...yet as the.... 'unwanted child's wife....I CERTAINLY didn't dare speak...but we were so shocked...! (maybe you have seen/heard of this...but it was just beyond our 'thinking'...

Maybe it was because we were younger, or both felt we OWED so much in repaying and giving back to Grandma and Grandpa...but these people made us both want to cringe and run 'from the snakes' (as we used to say on the ranch when I was a little kid). ha ha

And let me say right here, please, my husband and both were working full time and had very good jobs and so money was never 'a thing' to us in those years. (later on...yep...but not this stage of life ...ha ha) In fact WE spent each weekend, TREATING his grandparents to trips and travels as much as we could...because they neither one had ever, ever done anything but work on the farm. They dearly loved to travel with us and our little boy (that they adored)... anywhere, anytime. In fact the weekend before his death....we took them to the Texas International Wildlife Reserve...where they saw their FIRST wild animals...monkeys crawled all over our car as we fed them....and Grandpa laughed as we had never seen him before. (A treasured memory)

Anyway...at his death...a ROYAL MESS ensured! The Son and the daughter of this old couple...with all their kids...grandkids...dogs and cats got into this huge, ugly mess. I do not need to 'go into' their greed and issues... but the biggest and most horrible FACTOR...to me...to my husband----was that it seemed EVERYONE of them ....WANTED INHERITANCE... MONEY, stuff, household items...division/parts/this/that....
NO BODY WANTED GRANDMA...!!!!!!!


Grandma was so hurt...(Not one single them...out of a zooloo tribe EVEN OFFERED to help her...settle back in after Grandpa's sudden death, closing paperwork...zero...much less a place to live...because she was afraid to live alone in their old home). She and her son's wife never got along, because she said that the daughter in law "trapped her son into marriage when they met in a bar where she was ===fly. So, understandably...there would be no real help from her son's side. Then...for her only daughter's side of the family who were the BIGGEST grabbers, talkers and most disrespect....they said 'they were toooo old to take on 'that responsibility' (WHAT???)

Also realize...Grandma...was ACTIVE... and avid fisher-woman...with tons of friends....church, Civic Club, Home Demonstration Club...and campers/fishing...her hobby. It's not like she was in a wheelchair, invalid...she was vibrant, joyful and tops. (her daughter and daughter in law were neither one this type at the time).

Her SON....who had been....supported through a thousand situations...legal and not so legal, angry husbands shooting at her son....paying money for him and each of wives/women issue, time and time and time again...cars, trucks, what ever===now when SHE NEEDED HIM....he simply...SAT SILENTLY... he did not SAY A WORD to support his beloved Mother!!!

Grandma was not a person to cry. Very seldom did you see tears. She had Indian blood...way back...and she was rather proud and used to say...like my own dear Mom..."Cry ...and you cry alone....laugh and the world laughs with you." But she cried. Not publicly....not making a big fuss...just tears of brokenness....loss...loneliness and rejection....and DIS BELIEF!!! When she needed her kids the most...they simply FORGOT all she and Grandpa had ever done for them when THEY needed help.

Her hurt....broke my heart! That day, I looked at my wonderful young husband...compared to the mess of people around me...and whisper to him, "this cannot be happening...not to Grandma...after all that she and Granpa have done for this bunch----if you agree----we are taking GRANDMA to our house one way or another, I can't stand this c---!"

Tears in his eyes too....we both went to Grandma and I hugged her (for the jillionth time) and said, "Grandma if you can stand us....WE want you to come live with us. You have given us so much....now we want to give back to you and 'hit those fishing holes together" INSTANTLY....she beautifully....'changed her tears of sorrow...to the most beautiful TEARS OF JOY....EXCITEMENT.....HOPE!!!

As life would have it....there were 3 more huge messy INCIDENCES that took place in the next month following...and all three times....THE INCIDENCES ...would NEVER have happened ....IF the son...my husbands father HAD TAKEN up his own RESPONSIBILITY...spoken up....spoken out...done what he and God expected him to do!

HE KNEW IT... he simply sat on his buns...popped his fingers together repeatedly and said, ''Well, I didn't DO anything". "Well, at least I didn't say anything"... (as if being SO HONORABLE....made Himself a little above those problems that he was a PART of....helped to cause) YEP! DOING NOTHING....SAYING NOTHING....when your are RESPONSIBLE for THE PROBLEM....is sinful.

AND YEP....SILENCE can be a SIN. And often... very, very painful sin...with thousands of reprecussions, pain and suffering to many people....innocent people. And yes, thoughout all the years I have dearly LOVED my father in law...and I know he loves me very, very much and really respects and appreciates me as well. He has always been easy for me to enjoy, even tho I didn't always understand. I treasure him today, just as I did his precious Mother.

But, unknowlingly.... he did teach me a lesson that I needed ....and have thought of many, many times---when I TOO, WOULD RATHER sit back...in silence and never say a word...but knowing in my heart that God Almighty says that is it my responsibility to 'do it Right".

I, again like my beloved father in law...have failed....often. I sat back. Silence can be a sin, whether we realize it or not. God REWARDS RIGHT CHOICES. The greatest joy....was when I spoke up to a bunch of money hungry kinfolks...that I was very, very intimidated by....and said, Grandma is coming to live with US!".....

No, changing lifestyles is never easy and nothing goes around in life perfect but.....there were never ANY cross words ever spoken between our Grandma and us throughout the time she lived with us. Which says a ton for all concerned when you blend 3 generations. She always we were her rescue and greatest blessing....but SHE was such a blessing to me, my husband and our two little ones throughout those years. (the grandma that kinfolks wanted her 'stuff' but not her...was our greatest pleasure and treasure.)

Wow, what wonderful times and memories we made throughout all those years. We were so blest!

So, on this beautiful Monday.....This memory is worthy of saying ''THANKS, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA for raising AND LOVING... my High School Sweetheart... and LIFETIME FRIEND.... and Thanks to my beloved father in law....for giving my husband LIFE.....for this really is... Happy Graduation Day 49 years later....BECAUSE YOU CARED!!!!