Walk by Faith...not by sight II Cor. 5:7

Dear blog readers and friends, this morning is cloudy and stormy for me. How about you? Are there days that you awake...you feel blessed...but yet...there is STILL a heavy foreboding that seems to 'just crawl out and cover you''. I know I am not alone with these feelings but...at the TIME of these feelings...sometimes I do feel alone. SO...WALK BY FAITH...NOT BY WHAT MY EYES SEE!!!! Yes, like me.....even old Barnabus needed ENCOURAGEMENT from Paul and Timothy.

Maybe it is that I am aging. Maybe it's that I KNOW I was born to be a SUNSHINE PERSON...and on dreary days, I suddenly become some sort of a 'turtle' and want to crawl way back up inside my shell and 'just peek at the world outside for the day.' ha ha

sounds silly but God created me....so I have to believe He also knows my emotions and why....and would like for me to hush up, get up and get out and 'do' SOMETHING better. (but oh, sometimes the warm dark corner really does feel safer...ha ha...that's part of my dark sense of humor...but at least I still have a 'sense of humor' ha ha.

The REAL truth is....I know why I feel this way. Yes, I am happy and feel blest and actually feel quite well for the health situations that I have been through lately.....BUT....like some of you...I am sad...even over feeling happy...BECAUSE so many of my dear, dear friends are very, very sick....and very close family members hovering so close to death...in tons of suffering. I can't....and don't want to....keep them out of my thoughts.

I pray....and I know God hears and answers. But I keep remember my own suffering/pains...I cringe....knowing they are hurting still. I ache for them.

My favorite sister-in-law, who, together with me, has had Cancer twice and were closest of prayer partners....stage 4 and 5.....now she has it again...her 3rd) It makes me sick to even think about it. When is Enough? Together... Our motto...(my original motto in 1995)...is that as Christians....either way with these diagnosis' WE WIN!!! We do not lose. We can not lose. If our Lord choses to answer prayers in our behalf and we get to stay a while longer... HOOOOORAY....but if He choses to takes to our real home we still win and have no more suffering, pain, worry, guilt and expense to our loved ones. Again, either way a Christian wins.

But the other side of the coin. Those we leave behind/hurting....as I am hurting/aching right now at just the thought of my friends 'might be passing'. It hurts and hurts deeply...

Day before yesterday, my beloved friend, mentor and closest partner in ministry with me for the last 8 years....a gentle sweet man who dearly loves life to the fullest....had tears streaming down his cheeks, came straight to me at a conference at Baylors Truett Seminary. He has a very rapid form of Parkinson's Disease....and we have watched this perfectly healthy body deteriorate in the last 18 months to a constant shaking from head to foot...to a 'wobble' to where he can barely walk, stand alone. His hand shake so much that he can't hold his fork or knife...and when he can...he can't hit his mouth very well. It mortifies him.

This darling man is still constantly 'making jokes' and trying to SURVIVE with a sense of humor and prayers...medicines that seem to do little......but injections very, very painful.

He and his beloved wife, my best of buddies....met a college students at Baylor when I was just a little girl. She majored in music and he in communications. She became a Broadway singer and was in numerous popular broadway shows when they first got married and lived in NYC. They moved to Philidelphia doing the same, then California....then back to Dallas where they stayed and raised their family and she continued performing successfully. He was a very lively Radio Morning Show favorite on both KRLD and KFFA in Dallas for over 20 years. He is tops at popping out 'jokes'. Dry witted but hilarious. I worked with this darling couple to expand STATE WIDE...the 'JESUS' video movies back about 10 years ago...and again 4 yrs. later the CHILDRENS' version of the movie. We worked out of Tyler, Tx. In turn I helped them get started as leaders for a volunteer SENIOR CITIZENS statewide conventions in each of the larger cities. Through both of the projects and the Baylor Senior adult Choir, we are always together....and have a blast together...and we make sure that everybody else NEARBY also has a blast of a good time laughing.

The tears? My dear friend, Norm, was told by his specialist this week that he will soon also lose his voice and will not be able to speak or sing. (he LIVES to sing, laugh and tell jokes). Up until the disease hit about 2 yrs. ago he was in a awesome acapello mens quartet of entertainers.
His tears were mingled with my own...and his dear wife....Ann who KNOWS how much his voice means to him....and to her....to their whole life and lifestyle....and even in simple communications with each other with his vast needs at this time of his body wearing down. They need your prayers

My only brother-in-law also has this same disease and this last year...especially this last week....has really taken it's toll on him. His body and his brain are both failing very badly...all of a sudden. He has been awesome...able to hide the disease as a college professor for years. But he is suddenly unble to drive or remember well. My sister is not in good health either, just had major surgery on top of past heart attacks and presently having more heart and body pains/medicines in the last two weeks.

Then lastly..and...the most unbelievable....my dear friend, Ruth called to share that BOTH she and her husband HAVE last stage CANCER. She and her husband are the DIRECTORS for the BAYLOR UNIVERSITY SENIOR ADULT CHOIR. They have over 100 in choir. He also directors their church choir of about 50. They are GIVERS! Awesome Christian leaders and fill such a vast need for Senior adults with Christian music. They was sooo needed and yet both of them are in horrible health/pain and suffering. She called and talked to me for almost an hour because 'she knew I could identify' with.....and help her....understand some of the horrible mess that she is having to go through. I felt so honored that God allowed me to help .....someone else.... who is such an AWESOME leader and helper to hundreds of others. She has asked for every one's prayer: Ruth and Charles.

So, yes, today is cloudy and thunderstorms are suppose to come tonight and my heart is heavy for all the above loved ones.....and humpteen jillion others that are not mentioned here...but because Jesus lived, died, arose....lives forever...I know I can also simply pray for these and ask you who read to do the same...."not our will..but His will be done'.....power and healing with OUT pain and suffering. Regardless what tomorrow brings...today we can/will PRAISE HIM, THANK HIM for all the good stuff and blessings....grab every rainbow, treasure the raindrops and sunray....and FIND LAUGHTER...even in the shadows.

Thank you, Lord...I think it's time for me to pull out of my 'turtle shell', lift my hands to praise you, smile and give a phone call to each one of these and 'tell them an silly internet joke'....so they can have some of YOUR GOOD LAUGHTER.

Have a blest day. We'll visit again next week. Jim and I are headed for our daughters and son-in-laws house for a great Fun weekend. Their darling/too wise..... 4 year old ADOPTED CHINESE daughter...er the PRINCESS" will certainly have plenty of 'good stuff' to entertain us ALL WITH....and bring everybody LAUGHTER ....AND LOTS OF IT!!! So, Funny!!!

Laughter doeth good!
Little Billy, age 5, was PROMOTED to the Beginner Dept. in Sunday School but was puzzled. He asked his Mom, "Mom I don't see WHY my teacher didn't get Promoted too, cause she knows 'bout as much I do' about Jesus". (smile, bless the little children)

Isaiah 41: 10 FEAR THOU NOT...for I AM with thee; be not dismayed; FOR I AM THY GOD: I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.