Hilarious Scientific Research...Texas Style ;-D

Scientists at NASA built a GUN specifically to launch standard FOUR POUND DEAD CHICKENS at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to TEST the strength of the windshields.

BRITISH ENGINEERS heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel,
crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console,
snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment,
along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo –
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Defrost the chicken."



PILOT to GROUND CONTROL... 'WATCH for flying CHICKENS...' ;-D

Backward Moments... ;-D

"WOW, I LOVED LIFE IN THE COUNTRY!"


The above cartoon is ACTUALLY my husband...ha ha. Every evening we like to sit outside...in the cool of the day and enjoy watching traffic from our front yard. But since this year we have had a wonderful amount of rainfall and also have numerous lakes/earth tanks nearby....we are infested by those dratted ZINGING ugly little pests...called mosquitoes! Not bad if there is a wind blowing...but unmerciful when it's a gentle breeze. Needless to say, we often 'give in' rather than 'fight their feasting'.

The last few days have been what I call...backwards days...things just keep 'messing up'...unnecessary junk keeps coming 'down the pike'----when I saw the following poetic UN TRUTH...I knew I needed to post it ....for myself and others to 'just get a chuckle'. Hope you enjoy the creative writing of someone....not me...but could've been. ha ha

BACKWARD MOMENTS....

Ladies and gentlemen, hoboes and tramps,
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,
I come before you to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There will be a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
The topic to discuss...
The crime that has never been committed.
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HUMMMMM, do you ever feel like 'life is sooo confusing?" hahaha Blessings 2 U

The FUN Side of Getting Old....;-D

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I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement Frog... that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon---which I can't...ha ha? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in clothing that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.


I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver....or loose. ;-D
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore..
I've even earned the right to be wrong. I've earned the right to 'have it my way'.

So, to answer your question, sometimes, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I might just eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it)...just kidding---when your a diabetic, had cancer twice & a double knee replacement---you enjoy not always eating the sweets of the past. There are JOYs on many avenues and venues....and aging has a thousand streets to wander around...if you can walk.ha ha And as the old song used to say "these Boots are made for Walking and that's just what I'll do"---as long as my Sweet Lord, allows me to~!! "Walk ON and Have Happy Day!

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART.... ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

Origin of Cats & Dogs....cute ;-D

Where do pets come from? GOD CREATES DOG FOR ADAM & EVE.




And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."



And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. ... See More
And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom, and all the good names are taken, and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and to Eve, and loved them.And Adam was comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.




After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."



And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know he is not worthy of adoration."




And God created CAT to be a companion for Adam.
And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being.

And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.


And Cat did not care one way or the other.

Easter Story....Easter Cookies...yummy message!

EASTER RESURRECTION COOKIES Share with family and friends...or the lost....
These cookies are to be made the evening before Easter to demonstrate the story of Christ's resurrection. Our family will be making these together for the first time this year.

You will need:

■1c. whole pecans,
■1 tsp. vinegar,
■3 egg whites,
■pinch salt,
■1c. sugar,
■zipper baggie,
■wooden spoon,
■tape,
■Bible
Preheat oven to 300 BEFORE BEGINNING.

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.
Explain that after Jesus was arrested He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink.
Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life.
Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.
Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.
Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing.

Add 1 c. sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know this and how to belong to Him.
Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.
Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.
Read Matt.27:65-66.

GO TO BED!
Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.
Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie.

Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow!
On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty!
Read Matt. 28:1-9

Enjoy!
Have a great weekend celebrating the resurrection of Christ!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

Happy Easter 2010, Joy comes in the Morning, Thank You, Jesus!

Have you ever wanted to 'fly on the wings of an Eagle'? Have you ever thought how awesome it must be to soar high, around the mountain peaks, watching all the earth and beings below? Have you ever wondering how it feels to have the soft gentle breeze of the valley reach up and brush your face with freedom and abandon? Well, I have. I love to dream. I love to drift....and I love to think of God being 'right there with me'. ;-D

I think God gave reference to the awesome eagle in Scripture to entice us to seek Him, seek His majestic greatness, the unknown, the wild freedom as we have never known. God also wants us to experience the Valley, not just the mountain. There can beauty in each...there is fear in both. Yet, Faith...like the majestic eagle...soars onward, upward and always TO Him.

Weeping, tears and fears love to encompass our night...yet Scripture assures us 'that JOY comes in the morning"...and usually it does or at least the situation seems better in the light of day...than it did in the middle of blackest night! I think Easter is a great example of light breaking through all darkness, (the empty tomb at Sunrise) the sun shines light into the valley...just as it did on the mountain peak and sometimes we may be in 'our darkest valley' but God really wants us to come up out of the valley.... 'soar like Eagles, above, in the light, not darkness/shadows, free.... not in bondage of problems and... shouting JOY, inspite of pain.
These are my poetic thoughts on it....

THE VALLEY of Shadows...

Yes, I HAVE been through the 'valley of weeping',
I've been through sorrow, death and pain.
And yes, the 'comfort of God' was with me,
pushing me to be bold, trusting and to sustain.

For the earth needs clouds, rain and sunshine,
Just as our souls need both, sorrow and Joy.
And He often places us in the furnace,
For golden lessons and our troubles to destroy.

He leads us through some 'Valleys of trouble',
His hands of power... we can easily trace,
Becaue the trials and sorrows we endure,
Are part of His lessons... of solitude and grace.

We try to shrink away from His pruning,
Forgetting, the Knowledge that He betows,
Because the deeper the cutting and paring,
The Richer and stronger... the plant will grow.

He knows that deep affliction is oft needed,
For He has a wiser purpose... in His view,
For after we walk in the Valley, He whispers,
'Hereafter, you will know what I would Do'.

Yes, we travel through life's shadowed valley,
His love springs forth fresh....constantly arise,
As we all learn that all our sorrows and losses,
Are really our Blessings, growing in disguise.

So, in blind faith, humbly....we follow,
Regardless if pathways are dreary.... or bright
For we have proof that God is our Comforter,
He gives us... Songs in the shadows...
as well as.... Joy in the morning light!

Have a Happy Easter! An empty tomb... He is Alive, we're forgiven and can have eternal life!!! Hallaluia!

Facebook, Fun and Foolishness....

FACEBOOK is a place on the internet that is lots of fun, tons of foolish laughter, yet lots of neat wisdom and 'serious mind bending issues' each day. Tons of games, some a bit wild and querky, some 'down home' goofy...but for the most part...just fun. The following is a personality test 0f which there are a jillion to choose from.

While on Facebook, I noticed that a lot of my friends were taking "Dr. Phil's Personality Test"...most of the results that I read... did fit the persons...as I knew them...but then there were a couple that I thought just sort of 'flew off the wall' in a couple of places. Yet I could also see a 'wee bit' of the negatives as the results of the testings. It just was not really complimentary to that individual.

Anyway...out of curiosity...I WANTED to try the test....but in reality...I thought 'Oh, my grief...all I need is to take a stupid test and then have all my negatives plastered all of Facebook for millions to laugh at. So, I mulled it over a couple of days/scared to make a 'bigger' fool of myself...and after phone conversations ...urging me to do it....'aaawww just for fun''...I finally did it. ;-D And in fact...I repeatedly took...trying my best to 'fool' the test. ha ha

Thank God, Dr. Phil took 'pity' on me and gave me a decent grade. Below is his testing and results for me. Whew! The worms were exposed.

Dr. Phil's Personality Test
This test was created by Dr. Phil and several psychologists. He presented this test on the Oprah Winfrey show. It is reported to be the most accurate psychological test in the entire world. (for the Facebook testing you answer questions BUT they referred back through your writings/contact messages on Facebook to compile the results.) And tho foul talk is not allowed ...very curt/cutting things are. You can read some ...er..er.. interesting' exchanges of words at times.) ;-)

Fun fact about this pyschological testing: Dr. Phil himself scored a 55 on the test, while Oprah scored only a 38.
Ouch!
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Gloria took the "Dr. Phil's Personality Test" quiz and the result is.../she is....

The Lively Center of Attention. (I certainly do not feel that way, for sure)

(but I love reading the following...yea for ole Dr. Phil...ha ha)

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not one to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

(wow...what a relief...he gave me a decent grade...so you know now why I say...Dr. Phil took "pity on me"...it was fun after all. Sure glad there weren't any more questions. ha ha

Hope you have a great day.... & 'a special little secret' just between you and me...'don't take the test...you already KNOW you are great!!! woohoo!

God created you & He don't make junk!!! ;-D